Your Voice Matters Hepatitis B special

Hallo Folks here is a link to the latest radio show with vital information for all to note

http://www.mixcloud.com/susioddball/your-voice-matters-18-oct-2013/

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At my sister’s Cathy in Bromsgrove

Hi I am now at Bromsgrove and loving it My sister and my brother in law are great and my sis is feeding me up so much and I am still loosing weight so all I can imagine is that the stomach is going down slowly but surely.  Its still painful as it is 15 inches across my body but its bearable now.  The most difficult thing is not to lift and for people that know me well as the bag lady would feel this is hard for me, but a good lesson in sitting still and concentrating on less for a change.

I don’t know how my sister does it but she comes up with the most amazing veggie dishes possible to put one into paradise She should open up a place where she gives people a bit of heaven.

The nicest thing is being alive and I wish to thank all those people who came to visit me at hospital, the nursing home and the messages on social media for all your lovely thoughts and i will be getting in touch with you one by one xxxx

Its funny when you have a longer lease in life its starts you thinking about how to conduct the rest of your life and there will certainly be changes in mine.  I had a chat with my dad and he has been on the brink a few times and he says that its funny how one is aware of injustices but how after our experiences we become less aggressive in how we cope with them Is it because we have been touched by an angel.

I shall be back in Brighton in about two weeks and I will need advice on how to care for myself for the next six months so any suggestions let me know Meanwhile have a wonderful life and its great to be alive!!  xxx

I am in the middle of writing a play so watch out for it lots of ….

Blog 15 Onwards to Brinsworth House!

I got out of Kings no Urologists report and on my way by ambulance to Brinsworth House my convalescent home thanks to belonging to Equity, been able to get help with the Benevolent Fund through Evelyn Norris, Elizabeth Finn fund and also Florence Nightingale Aid in sickness Trust My deepest thanks to the bottom of my heart

I was talking to the ambulance drive and I thought that he was about 30 but it turns out he is older than me Wow, wow, wow how looks can deceive.  He also has 6 children the eldest being 38 and the youngest being 7.  We had a great chat about philosophy and he was telling me about his school life and how he feels he didn’t do well wasn’t sure if it was his fault or the teachers, but favourite subject history.  So I told him to take notes about the house we were going to as this was lving history of entertainment.

We always wander what musicians do and actors and artists after the fame dies down.  Well here’s a little of the heart of those great glory gone days where treading the boards meant dancing, singing, making gags and entertaining either a handful on a pier, or a packed out audience in the theatre.  All mattered and the acts would be performed equally well.  I have met some lovely residents here in Brinsworth House who are the best, or have worked with the best.  They are welcoming, sociable and lovely.  It’s a place where one is treated with dignity, and respect.  I do recommend it for some respite and rest, whether it’s for a week or four weeks.  The staff are fine and helpful, not judgemental.

I wrote to charities to help me and Evelyn Norris, Elizabeth Finn fund and also Florence Nightingale Aid in sickness Trust, plus Cancer Relief, and Macmillan fund all who have helped me in my time of need and helped to provide me with two weeks of care I know I will love.  My first meal was Baked potatoes with baked beans and cheese (not too much) which was delicious and mandarins and ice.

I enjoyed every scrap.  I want to at this stage give a special thanks to Hazel Fairchild for not only giving me the idea of convalescent (I went to visit her when she was in respite) but between herself, and Donal O Sullivan my financial inclusion officer from Southern Housing I would not have thought this possible and I doubt I would have been offered anything as exciting as this for me.

I love talking about Variety, and who better to talk about it with than other variety artist.  A dream, all I need now is a clown to arrive and teach me some tricks to forthwith use in a brand new clown act. I am still waiting to find out the results of the biopsy they have taken out I have to admit I am willing the answer to BE BENIGN

Just so that part of the journey ends and lessons learnt.  I really love my sisters they might be old codgers now but the have so much life in then and zest.-ride on my true darlings for your enormous help and support over this. Ping you are a darling and a very loving person.  Thank you for being there in the background quietly and solidly.  You are a loving person.  I still say your magic act was absolutely brilliant but I know you would deny it.  Wendy remember when we were kids and we used to fight each other silently of course we are not like that now.  Do you ever fight silently with yourself I do sometimes.  Anyway its 4.45 am and back to bed and hopefully I will get some shut eye.  It’s been difficult to sleep since the op, I thought it was the noise at the hospital and now I know its me I should have guessed that nothing is straightforward.  Well I will let you know more tomorrow

I felt sorry for the matron as when I arrived there were council inspectors but she also had major building work and the hot tap is not working so the residents can only have a shower not a bath at the moment.  I hope that Brinsworth House will go on forever and it could if we all supported it Lets try- Yes

I am still here and tomorrow is another day what joy! Now to enjoy the rest of my stay and then on to my lovely sister Cathy in Worcestershire .

Blogs 13 and 14 from the hospital

Blog 13

I am a day before I go out of hospital.  The doctors have been excellent and the nurses, especially Celestine from Nigeria who was a teacher before being a nurse, and rose and Helen and Mattis and Joel from intensive care. Excellent

I tried to do everything they wanted and apart from nausea I coped well apart from the last night I could not sleep. Every thought every second affected me engulfing me into a world of self pity and remorse.  Then I decided the ask the nurse to give me something to knock me out She said I was too late and the doctors were so busy on Sunday nights so then I decided to read Ian’s  kindle that he leant me.  An amazing man had downloaded an incredible book about oneness Well it certainly changed my state of mind. I felt a oneness and love and reaching out to connect with love and I swear that a young nurse came and woke me up 15 mins after I got to sleep.  Anyway I tried mindset again and after two wake ups and sleep it had become morning.  I gave myself a good wash, and teeth cleaning to get rid of the metallic taste feeling in the body.  Very common and you also get it if you have low blood sugar.  Now am waiting for the doctor to talk about the next stage of my journey Its funny there is always someone worse off than yourself and it makes you appreciate how we are.  Hospital food sounds good but all the prepacked food sounds good although appetising it was not for me The vegetarian choices five bean chillie ( cant have spice at all anymore) pasta with tomato and basil sauce, plain omelette , improved macaroni and more all sounds good but have too much cheese on them which is acidic Anyway I have numerous wonderful angels and I cant thank the staff enough my sister Cathy, Leonora, my fine cousin Wendy, and sister in law Alison.  They are angels on earth Ian Fennel is an amazing man and great friend I am proud he wants me as his friend!  What a stunner young Ellie is who spent two of her lunch hours munching away at her lunch in my ward What a star and you will make a great OT you get upset because you care that‘s all Ellie, don’t take it personally its part of your loving nature of people.  Thank you to all of you.  By the way the urologists did not want to see me today but tomorrow and hopefully I will find out whether the kidney is benign or malignant

 

 

 

 

Blog 14

Now this is really the day before I left Kings and was not expecting any visitors so I decided that I would try and get to the hospital entrance.  After several attempts I made it at 3pm and noticed there was a wonderful shop.  But I got to the entrance and found it was too hot and there was nowhere to sit outside.   So proud and not disappointed I set back to the ward.  Its funny how every body seems to be on a mission maybe that’s what its like in hospital everyone on a mission Anyway I had ordered  an egg mayonnaise sandwich and cheese and biscuits but I was so exhausted  through lack of sleep the night before I slept and then at 6 I woke up to find my sandwich delivered.  Just plying myself to eat the sandwich my friend Natalia came trotting in.  I was so surprised to see her and happy too.  Then it occurred that she also has a skill I could ask her to use.  Reflexology.  The tight stockings in the hospital were irritating me, so she gave me the most amazing reflexology and then we shared the girlie snack of my meagre meal along with the crackers celebrating the appearance of margarine! A lovely evening with a dear friend, thank you so much.

 

Some Poems

Life by Susi Oddball 

Amazing how expendable we are

Our whole life works in a patterned shell

If we are not there it disappears

To be replaced

 

Lots of spirit and soul people

Energies good and bad

Fighting to survive

Like plants in the wind

 

Our fruits live, pass word onwards

Our bodies lost to dust

Our life is like a flowing river

Journeying to the mouth

 

The mouth that feeds us a bigger pathway

The universal ripple of tides

Big to people, but a tiny dot of eternity

Memories live on

 

Within those who loved the spirit

 

This is not my poem but must be said

God doesn’t give you the people you want; He gives you the people you NEED… to help you, to hurt you, to leave you, to love you and to make you into the person you were meant to be. 
One Flaw In Women
Women have strengths that amaze men…

They bear hardships and they carry burdens,

but they hold happiness, love and joy.

They smile when they want to scream.

They sing when they want to cry.

They cry when they are happy

and laugh when they are nervous.

They fight for what they believe in.

They stand up to injustice.

They don’t take “no” for an answer

when they believe there is a better solution.

They go without so their family can have.

They go to the doctor with a frightened friend.

They love unconditionally.

They cry when their children excel

and cheer when their friends get awards.

They are happy when they hear about

a birth or a wedding.

Their hearts break when a friend dies.

They grieve at the loss of a family member,

yet they are strong when they

think there is no strength left.

They know that a hug and a kiss

can heal a broken heart.

Women come in all shapes, sizes and colours.

They’ll drive, fly, walk, run or e-mail you

to show how much they care about you.

The heart of a woman is what

makes the world keep turning.

They bring joy, hope and love.

They have compassion and ideas.

They give moral support to their
family and friends.

Women have vital things to say

and everything to give..

HOWEVER, IF THERE IS ONE FLAW IN WOMEN,

IT IS THAT THEY FORGET THEIR WORTH.

 

This is a piece of work in a workshop with John Hegley and Lorraine Bowen

Needs by Susi Oddball

I need you like a wound needs a healer

I need you like life needs sunshine

I need you like a politician needs a lie

I need you like first nation need to die

 

Busy by Susi Oddball

Everybody’s good at being busy

I am good at doing that too

But im getting good at the fiddle

To stop me from feeling blue

 

I want to be good at everything

And loved by everyone too

But I know I have my oddities

And be contented to be loved by a few

 

Crumbs by Susi Oddball

A tiny speck

Broken and insignificant

Jagged wedges, half eaten

Once perfect, and not bent

When you were round and whole

The taste as sharp as razors

Patterned and uniformed

You were on a roll

Blended mixtures of exotic tastes

Smooth, rounded and fiery

Now you’re just a dream

Another obstacle to be faced

The faded ginger smell, suggested but no longer there

The dull soft biscuit has lost its edge

Held together, moulded now a target and team

No returning to roots, be aware

People are born, give pleasure and hope

They are used in our civilised world

Enticed by promises and false desires

Lured by lies and are unable to cope

No longer noticed by the greedy ones in the universe

Scattered, lost reverted back to a small grain of wheat

Only other crumbs can appreciate this situation

That they too were a biscuit

Here is a poem first published in It May Contain Nuts by Company Paradiso

Supermarket Spillage by susi oddball

I watched as the lid flipped off in slow motion

The naughty child just stood there in amazement

As the cross red faced mum let out

An enormously loud scream of exasperation

Smash!  The large glass jar of egg mayonnaise landed splat on the floor

To the boy, this was a wonderful mess to start skating in

To the mum on her last legs

It was the final straw

A reminder of the complete downside of her life

All in small shattered smithereens

Needing a replacement

Having to be mopped up

How an earth could she explain this to the manager

Oh sorry I snatched the jar off my son before he sneakily put it in the basket

It slipped just like the grip on my life

How tiny she felt as she watched in horror as more children joined in the skating fun!

Alarm bells rang

Not in the shop but in her head

If she did not pull herself together there would be pain

In a low loud sound she bellowed

“And stop”

The whole supermarket seemed to freeze for that one moment

Her life flashed in front of her

She knew what she had to do

She should lay down the law with all her associates

No more saying yes

To the odd couple of quid each week to her neighbour

Who always says?

“I will pay you back” and never does

She will sort out her very wayward son

And set him jobs each week that he has to do to earn his pocket money

She will make sure his dad takes their son out to give her a rest

She will tell her mum and dad not to give her son sweet things unless he has earnt them by being good

She will start to look after her self so she can look after others

It does sound like a Bible of life

And now to tackle the egg mayonnaise stricken manager

 

 

Pre Op jargon

It’s amazing when you are in a swirl of existence how people rally around and rescue you.  I would like to say thank you to my dear sisters Lyn and Cathy and cousin Wendy who says it how it is and Juggley Jane,a fountain of knowledge, Alan who does not get mentioned too often cos I know he does not like to be, Hazel who has untiringly been filling in forms, making phone calls, and been there without any payment such a sweet kind lady.  My lovely friend Denise who is there when I need her healing me and making me cups of tea, Ava who has celebrated her 60 birthday, she is always fighting for everyone’s rights, Bridget who is nothing but great encouragement, Eddy a wonderful lady who I have known since 5 years old when we used to share our Adventures of Tin tin books from the local Holborn Library together. Mencap workers looking after Luci and me indirectly, Fiona Mills luci’s social worker, a very loving lady, the staff at Kings hospital for their silent work,  Sarah Lee your words will not leave me “What do you want most in this world?”(Apart from global peace and eradication of poverty and disease) Hilary Cunningham who is going back to New Zealand soon we were flower children together when she was 11 and I was 12. Offers of help Gloria who wants to come around, Ruth Wray from Dover court, Suchi who is giving me endless supplies of phones an amazing inspiration for all.  Ian Fennel who is so supportive and lovely, so is Daniel his partner cuddly and gentle, both of them.   Liz who threatens to take over the world, dearest Simon who looks out for me all the time, Gentle Alex who is there when I need him, Chris whose spirit is strong and present, Dad who is fighting for his family, Aunty Tessie and Uncle Tom who have always loved us and been there for us THANK YOU all for your kindness over the years

Back down to the blog I went on Monday to my pre assessment op appointment and was in Kings all day I started by having a two hour discussion on what was going to happen when I come in on 22/23  July and what to expect. Then there was the ECG, blood test, weight, height, x rays, etc  So equipped with my questions from Hazel, myself, Lyn and Cathy I asked away.  So to answer a few of your questions ‘your’ being fellow bloggers here are some of the questions

How long will I be in? 10 to 14 days if all go well

What will my wound be like? It will be across the stomach where they will try and get at everything

Do I need OT? No

What pain management do I want? Epidural or pain pump not sure on this one as I had an epidural which exploded in my back when they were putting it in but did do the trick or half my body was out of pain, what do you think?

What will happen after?  I will be back again in 6 weeks and depending on what they find I will know if I will need Chemo or other treatment

Good news is that between me and Hazel and Lyn we have secured some money from the Evelyn Norris fund (I thank you from the depths of my heart what would we do without charities) for my convalescence at Brimsworth House Good old Equity! Need to find another £500 for the other half of a week to feel like I might be cosseted.  It brings me to the point that if I did not have this help at hand how would I have fared!  I feel for those less fortunate than myself who do not have this in place.

I feel that my spirit will fight this and I am in for a big change in lifestyle Long awaited I must add and I think I might even have time to write my plays and learn how to operate a camera and edit it for production That is the dream Sarah Lee you have brought to my attention.  I was trying to practise meditation so that I do not feel the pain of the operation but I think I am not good at that yet, ode to be a guru that might help!

I have found out that I have been refused DLA special measures and the ordinary one so am up to Hollingdean trade union to fight this and appeal with Guisepina, Also had an Atos letter on my doorstep this week before I knew I was eligible for ESA so now have to fight that too.  Tried to get the local cancer nurse to help me fill in the medical aspect of this but as I am at Kings I cannot get her to do this.  I must say Mc Millan has been very good at advising so hopefully I will get it sorted before my operation It is a worry I could do without though at this stage 12 days to go before ‘the bigun’

I am off now to get my doctor to give me a new DS1500 to send out for my appeal with the DLA wish me luck cos I will need it!

Glastonbury Poems 2013

Here are two poems written at Glastonbury I would also like to thank the organisers for making it possible to be there .  so all the organisers A BIG THANK YOU especially for me Haggis Mc Cloud, Charlie Dancey, Sally Mann, Juggley Jane, Claus, Judy, Sam Hermitage, Jean Vidler, Sean, Cat, and a big thank you for my sons Simon and Alex for all their help I love you all It was so nice to see all my friends again Its kind of refreshing to be at a festival and when you come back you really appreciate that you’ve been Any way here’s the poems

On my way to seeing Rufus Wainwright at Glastonbury 2013 by Susi Oddball

The hidden object buried in the dusty ground

Many feet pass by this holy artefact

Only to be discovered by our future children

Wondering what this object was

Why the liquid tastes strange

And how it burns hot

The pink lighter in the Glastonbury soil overlooking the towering tor

 

The sacred beacon beckoning

Travelling to the pyramids

Listening to the mellow music of Rufus

The sun warming the world of Festival

A sense of deep passion in those doleful eyes

Expression of love and hope and happiness

 

A gentle breeze blowing away the cobwebs of concrete chaos

Watching the wind flags flowing

Mellow dreams of desire

Watching, waiting for the moment

tor

Here lies a tale

Nick Cave at Glastonbury 2013

 

A man walking down the streets of Brighton

And here he is up on the pyramids

Passion in his eyes

His movements deliberate

As he emphasises issues of the world

Tuneful, repetitive as if to really point out the bigger facts of humankind

 

Thousands watch and receive the message

He on his piano, angry and still close to nature

Her in the field listening to his music

I feel at one with the artists

And yet there is space and distance

A strange contradiction to a Glastonbury festival fro the people

Near but yet so far

Blog number 9

Waiting Game

Listening to my daughter Luci singing Robin Hood along with my son Simon, who is a breath of fresh air.  The passion that Simon sings helps Luci who has recorded him and can sing along at any time.  It brings me back to the days of Richard Green’s Robin Hood and the belief that it was okay to steal from the rich in order to feed the poor.  In my opinion its wrong to steal which brings me to the conclusion that the rich ought to be helping the poor and no one will steal from them.

I am reading a book at the moment called ‘the hope of living cancer free’ and its about a doctor called Contreras who worked alongside his father in America at their ‘Oasis of Hope hospital’ curing some people of their cancers and giving people an alternative education towards the holistic side of medicine prevention through healthy eating, vitamins and minerals, exercise, living environment, stress management, positive management, relationships, knowledge and wisdom.  As I read more I will let you know what is said but so far l like what I am reading as it makes good sense to me.

I have had a few comments since being diagnosed with cancer and let me share some of them.  One person asked if I wanted them to be sad or send healing to me, I answered that there was no sadness attached to having cancer as its one of life’s lessons in seeing life as precious so it has to be healing and I promised I would write a blog about this too.

Another said that after this operation it will be about receiving love and healing from others as I have done my giving and its time to do something I really want to do.  The insightful question that she asked me (it was Sarah Lee what wisdom she has!)  Out of everything in the world what would I as a person like to do when I get better?  This threw me as its hard to answer I would like to do lots of things but I really thought about this and answered I would like to make my film script into reality and then realised that the best way would be to learn how to make a film first, then I realised I also wanted to paint and produce animations, and then realised that I wanted to do radio still but not such on a full scale, and then I realised too I wanted to still juggle and play my fiddle, and eukalilie  as much as I can, go to Mongolia, grow vegetables with help from others,  and also to massage and be massaged.  All in all I came to the conclusion that I really enjoy life and want to carry on doing all these things for myself so that’s what I will do,  learn to make films, and enjoy all the pursuits that I would like to do.

Coming back to how people treat you when you have cancer Its interesting that the cells are a disease in your body and sometimes that is how people treat you as if you have a disease and look at you with sad eyes.  Don’t do this try and be like you were to the person when they were not diagnosed.  If you did not like them and still spoke to them be the same or try to understand them anyway I’m not sure about what you do in that circumstance.  Its probably not good to talk about their death as they get enough of that in their hospital surroundings and thoughts and frank conversations with the family and therapists.  Death an interesting concept in some cultures it means a journey others it is the end, others it is a link to another existence.  I remember reading my mum and Walt, the Tibetan book of the Living and Dying and the Tibetan book of the Dead.  The concepts in those books are amazing and it is the complete opposite to death.

I find that my perspective has changed, I feel calm and peaceful but not resigned Strange, an incredible love of humanity has come over me.  I’m not sure what it means but it’s pleasant.  Another comment is ‘have you been meditating?  Well I have been deep breathing and relaxing good question I think I need to rest more but that is kind of impossible in my life being a mother and a carer so I am kept on my toes.

I had the most amazing email from my dad and I will treasure it immensely and I know he has been trying to contact me but I am not easy to get hold of as my telephone answer machine is always full due to broken telephones, and I seem to always have my phone on silent as I am in the radio studio often or meetings or somewhere that requires quiet.  Thank you dad I do appreciate the email it’s gone to my heart.  At the moment I am waiting for a pre op date and on Monday I will phone them up to make one if I can, then my op should be in about two weeks after the pre op date Its getting closer but I feel I need to take out what is in there so that will be good and then it will be time to recover.   Hopefully the next blog will tell you dates and times meanwhile back to trying to fill in dreaded forms for DLA and ESA and Convalescent homes with my delightful friend Hazel Fairchild who is a mind of information on benefits and NHS and is practical and my sister Lyn a brick and star.  Luci really tries to be good and so does Tom her boyfriend, and Chris my eldest son is thinking of me constantly and I am glad he is gardening as this means he is creating That I like very much and hope he will always do this.   I have to thank Alex and Simon for their unerring support and love in my journey and my very worried sister Cathy who I worry about myself.  Wendy my cousin and Cathy are threatening to come down and give my house a blitz when I am in hospital very scary I have witnessed their blitz’s and I know it will be strange to have such a clean and sterile house, HELP! No really it does need it so they have my blessing It will be a relief not to have to do it all myself.  All I can say is Luci and the 3 cats watch out.  The other people who have been helping me are Nathalie from Switzerland, Natalia who is always there for me and answers officious questions from all sorts of people What a lady she is!  Lisa Feldman who has had major surgery in the last year and Donal from Southern Housing what a star he has been and it was only last year he lost a sister to cancer so God bless them!

My friend Stella who is a fellow writer texted me to say ‘Well I have survived’ She has just had an op for breast cancer I wish her great healing and lots and lots of love xxxxxx

I am off to Glastonbury for a few days I am so excited I love Glastonbury and am going to be doing a little fire juggling cant wait Thank you the organisers for making this festival possible and I really hope to do some radio when I am down there too.  Hurrah will let you know about it when I get back meanwhile have a nice life!

Always Double Check!

After attending Meisner at the Emporium, doing a show “Your Voice Matters” (a magazine show with many topics) at the radio plus “Same difference” ( a show about disabilities and the DLA rung right on time during the show, I was almost tempted to put it on air but I did not that was close to getting into trouble with the authorities, and maybe they would have revealed sensitive data!)  and also giving in my writings for the Amazing Creative Futures competition(busy morning eh!)

A strange thing happened to me today in regards to unexpected.  First St Johns phoned up to ask if I could take Luci home as she was feeling unwell and as I was in the middle of a show I said no I could not but would try and find someone to collect her.

Then I phoned the hospital today as when I went into the CT unit yesterday the girl behind the counter was not helpful and had such a brisk manner any patient who was feeling sensitive would be upset by her attitude.  She stated yesterday that the doctors had not signed it off yet so she was not sure when I was to have the CT for my chest. As it happened today they told me to come to A and E and I would be given a scan immediately I asked casually what the emergency was and they said that I was going to have my op on Monday.  So in shock I had my scan.   After the scan I ask the doctor if there had been a mistake as I had only just seen the specialist at Kings on Wednesday and it was only Friday what could have changed? He promised to find out and phone me the next day at 2.

Meanwhile I decided to take the law into my own hands and phone up Kings Liver Dept. who I am now under to do the Whipple’s procedure and speak to my nurse there.  She was not there so I tried to explain what was going on to another nurse (the pancreatic nurse) and could she get the other nurse to speak to me on the phone.  Rachel phoned back on said ‘what’s all this about going to another hospital and having the operation?  I was puzzled so I asked her if I could explain what had occurred that very day which I did she said that she would phone the specialist and find out if he had emailed anything to her and she promised to phone me back.  Whilst I was on the phone Nathalie my volunteer for the radio who is from Switzerland, who very kindly offered to accompany me to the hospital was asking what I was looking for and I said my phone and she started laughing and pointed out the reason for not finding my phone in my bags was because I was speaking to the nurse on it!  Thus was my state of shock at being told I was about to have my op on Monday.

The nurse did phone me back and her very words were “ I am so sorry you will not be having your op on Monday there has been a gross miscommunication, you are under Andreos no one else DONOT GO DOWN TO KINGS IF SOMEONE CALLS YOU AND SAYS YOU HAVE YOUR OP DONOT DO ANYTHING WITHOUT ME OR ANDREOS PERMISSION.  Do you understand this clearly its important for you to understand?  I answered yes I did and would only be answerable to her and Andreos.  I did get to ask another question I said that I was in shock on Wednesday and was not sure if I heard alright  Do I have the part Whipple’s procedure or the full one and do I have to have KEMO after and she said that it was the full one I still can’t believe this as it was only last week that the specialists were telling me that I would not most likely be having the Whipple’s procedure  Strange how things turnout especially as the DLA phoned to say that I do not qualify for the special rules I thought to myself hurrah I will live for more than six months Whoopie,  but normally I would complain cos I did not get the benefit!  Irony of life!  The moral of this story is to always double check if things seem wrong.

Well here’s to another day tomorrow I shall be juggling at people’s day next to City College with the young hoola hooplas and then reading a poem or two for Brighton Mad Poets at Corn Exchange stage  Exciting stuff

Blog Number 7 Back to Kings Hospital

I had to go back to Kings today and my sister Leonora came with me to talk to the Liver and stomach specialist who is very dynamic and confident who told me that I will have to have all three ops and the kidney would not be key hole as they needed to remove all the cancer so there it is in about 3 weeks I will have a pre op meeting and meanwhile I will have a chest CT scan up at the Royal County Sussex and then after that the big ops Phew!

I will blog more but I am very tired today so I will continue with blog number 8 tomorrow meanwhile have a lovely sleep and a nice life and I do really mean that One thing cancer is teaching me is to value my life as well as others That is pretty cool too.